


Shinryuuji Naga Host Club

by PunkHazard



Category: Eyeshield 21
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 03:37:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2636582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkHazard/pseuds/PunkHazard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whoever came up with the idea of splitting culture festival events by sports team instead of homeroom should be tried for cruel and unusual punishment, as far as Sanzo's concerned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shinryuuji Naga Host Club

Whoever came up with the idea of splitting events by sports team instead of homeroom should be tried for cruel and unusual punishment, as far as Sanzo's concerned, because it means the Nagas, without exception, are dressed in crisp white shirts, along with slim, fitted black pants and cute, thin ties that make them look like some sort of unholy cross between butlers and yakuza businessmen. 

It's said that the rich have no idea how to be poor, because once they've had the best, it's absolutely excruciating to lower their standards again. Naga Café is only in business for a day, the duration of Shinryuuji's annual culture festival, and Sanzo knows with painful, absolute clarity that his life will be sorely missing something once these few precious hours are over. 

In the meantime, he'll bask in Ikkyu's attention as he has his order taken for the third time today. A few minutes later, Unsui settles down at the table with a plate of cheesecake and a tall glass of green tea. 

Sanzo chirps, "Thank you, Unsui-kun!" 

He gets a bashful smile in return, almost dazzling in its self-effacement (Unsui is clearly uncomfortable in his waiter getup, in the cutest way possible) and then a fervently sincere, "It's my pleasure, Sanzo." 

"You look tired, Unsui-kun." 

"This is a bit harder than I thought it would be," he replies, "I don't think I could ever work in the service industry." 

They make small-talk for the required five minutes, and when Unsui stands up with an apologetic nod, expertly returning his seat to its place beneath the table, he gives Sanzo's shoulder a grateful squeeze. Of course Sanzo's mostly here for his own benefit, but if he can provide their quarterback with a brief respite, then he wouldn't hesitate to do so, either. 

Unsui's pulling the chair out for a cute brunette and her friend at another table while Agon's about to start chatting up three older ladies nearby. When time's up again, Sanzo leans forward to watch just in time for Ikkyu to sit down at his table. 

The twins set eyes on one table of affluent-looking private school girls at the same time, make eye contact from across the room and Agon wanders over to the entrance while Unsui takes over. Lucky for Ikkyu, he's still within earshot and Sanzo is totally fine watching their cornerback ogle their QB (ogle, memorize technique from-- same thing). 

Unsui's earnestly looking over the menu while one girl (Sanzo's dubbed her Pink Bow in his head) casually leans on his arm. She murmurs, "So what do you think? What would you recommend?" 

Twin coordination is at its peak on the field, but as anyone who's watched a cooking drama knows (and Sanzo has watched many), even a café can be a battleground. Unsui flips to a page of light, strawberry-flavored things and points out a cake that the soccer team is responsible for baking. They're made with real strawberries, but not too sweet, Unsui informs them, then adds, "I like this one best, but everything on the menu is good." 

(Shinryuuji boys are not in the habit of pulling their punches, even when the challenge is cake-baking.) 

One girl (this one with a ponytail) raises her hand to beckon another waiter over, while Pink Bow tugs Unsui back down into his seat as he tries to stand up to relay their order. 

Agon steps into his role like an old pro, leaning over the back of Unsui's chair with his hands on his brother's shoulders. "Unko-chan said you should get that one, huh? The chocolate's better." 

"Sorry about my brother," Unsui says, pointedly turning a hard stare on him. "Agon likes to stick his nose where it doesn't belong." 

Agon says, "Aah, don't listen to him," at the same time Unsui tells them, "You don't have to humor him," and they turn simultaneous offended glares on each other. 

"Hi, Agon-kun," Ponytail says shyly, "It's fine, Unsui-kun, we'll just get both. Right, Yuki-chan?" 

"That sounds great," Pink Bow says breathlessly, "It's nice to meet you, Agon-kun. It's fun to have siblings, right, Ami-chan?" 

"My brother isn't nearly as nice as Unsui-kun, though." 

"This naggy idiot?" Agon drags a seat out, pushes his Oakleys up his forehead and sits between Unsui and Yuki, to concentrate all her attention on him. Unsui motions Yamabushi over to take the order slip to the kitchen, but just as he's about to hand it over, Agon clicks his tongue and slaps his twin lightly on the shoulder. "You spend that much time momming me and you forgot to get them drinks? Some big brother." 

"I'm not going to pressure them to order things, Agon." 

"Let's get some tea then, aah. Yo, I want cake too." 

"I'll put it on a separate check," Yamabushi volunteers as he begins to walk away, but he pauses when Ponytail motions for him to come back. 

"Just put it on ours," Ami tells him, "we'll share." 

"Then I want a strawberry smoothie, too," Yuki tells him. 

Ikkyu's jaw drops. ("Oni can't believe they just spent 3,500 yen.") 

Sanzo cheerfully bumps his chin so his teeth click back together. "Twins are pretty amazing, aren't they, Ikkyu-kun." 

>>

"I'll get your orders," Unsui says as he stands up. 

"Hurry it up, Unko-chan." Agon says as he deals a stinging slap to the seat of Unsui's crisp black pants, "our food's gonna get warm." 

"Ne, Agon-kun," Ami says once he's out of earshot, "what does Unsui-kun like?" 

"Football. The school gym. Dogs and long walks on the beach? Hell if I know." Agon leans back, looks her over (decent body, cute face, some low-key brand-name swag, hands folded shyly in her lap), crosses an ankle over the opposite knee and lets his head drop back, dreads swinging. "You'll have more to talk about if you ask him yourself. But football." 

Yuki's the bolder of the two-- shortened skirt, subtle makeup in one of MAC's classic color palettes, hair dyed light brown and permed in voluminous waves, Coach purse, Louis Vuitton watch-- she's had a target painted on her back since the moment she sat down. When Unsui comes back with two trays and sets them on the table, Agon's already discreetly rearranged the table for maximum efficiency. 

After all, wealthy third-year private school girls attending an all-boys'-school's culture festival? Jackpot. 

Unsui's already started blabbing about football to Ami, who's either feigning interest or only interested in the way his fingers move over the table as he maps out the field and starts pointing out and explaining the positions. 

Yuki keeps an eye on her friend for a few seconds, then turns the full force of her attention onto Agon, once she's made sure that the cute monk-headed jock is actually as earnestly into this conversation as Ami is. Friends have to look out for each other, after all. 

Her expression turns innocent in a second, all sweet smiles and wide eyes. "Do you like karaoke, Agon-kun?" 

"Oh, yeah. I love karaoke." Agon returns her smile with one of his own, leaning forward onto his elbows as he asks, "What songs are you good at, Yuki-chan?" 

"I think m-flo's great, even if they're a little old." 

"You do the rap parts too, Yuki-chan?" 

"Sometimes, if no one else wants to." 

"We should go sometime. I'm pretty good at that, you know." 

Yuki is pretty clearly as well-versed in the ins and outs of casual flirting as Agon is and she gives Unsui a long once-over, a coy smile and says, "Hehh, you kind of look it, Agon-kun. Maybe Ami-chan and Unsui-kun too sometime..." 

(The thing about twins: Agon thinks Unsui is annoying as shit, but anyone who has the fucking balls to imply anything negative about his brother better do it out of his earshot because _that's his fucking twin_ and he's got at least a good half of the same genes Agon does. Conversely, any hot girl who even halfway approves of him clearly has at least a modicum of taste. As long as she knows which one of them is the better deal, anyway. 

Q.E.D. Yuki-chan knows what she wants and she knows how to get it. Agon can appreciate that.) 

"Nah, Unko-chan's just gonna be a killjoy. Make sure everyone gets home safe kinda guy, you know." 

"Ah, the burdens of being an oniichan. You know, I have a little brother too." 

"Don't encourage him, Yuki-chan." 

"Ah, I-- talked too much," Unsui says sheepishly from his end of the table. "You haven't even had a chance to eat." 

"Oh," Ami says, "that's right." She picks up her fork, shaves off a corner of the strawberry shortcake she ordered and takes a bite, eyes lighting up as the delicate whipped cream melts in her mouth. Unsui's looking at her expectantly, expression mirroring hers. "You know," she says, eyes wide, "I thought this wouldn't taste good because it's all boys cooking, but it's really delicious." 

"Our running back came up with the recipe for it," Unsui tells her. "We exempted him from waiting tables and he likes to bake anyway." He adds, somehow both proud and embarrassed, "Yamabushi-senpai brought this one because-- well, I helped with it, but it came out lopsided. You can't really tell with the whipped cream." 

"Oh, I was wondering why the fruit was like that," she replies, turning up the top layer of cake to reveal meticulously cut slices of strawberry laid in neat, alternating rows, arranged by size. "It's so organized. What was the rest of this writing, anyway? Something about a rabbit?" 

"Ah... 'shishihakuto'." 

"Oh, cute! That seems just like you." She takes another bite, looks at him through her eyelashes, cuts a chunk of cake and spears her fork through it, shyly determined as she holds it out to him. "And this is so good, Unsui-kun, you have to have some." 

"Don't worry about me, I'm just glad you're enj--" 

"Please, Unsui-kun, try some for me?" 

Agon throws one arm over the back of Yuki's chair, eyebrows raised as he leans in, watching Unsui as he takes a timid bite. "Thought she was the innocent type." 

"Well," Yuki murmurs, smiling back, "she is. Ami-chan gets braver around stoic types, though." 

Agon snickers. "Gimme a break, Yuki-chan. Unko's a 'clueless' type." 

"No reason he can't be both," Yuki replies thoughtfully. "Well, you wanted this chocolate one, Agon-kun, so let's share it." 

"Aah, yeah. Enough about that end of the table," he says, taking a sip from the smoothie she offers him and picking up a fork, "tell me more about yourself." 

>>

"Actually," Agon says as the girls prepare to leave, "don't tell your friends, just bring them back here. I'll get to see you again." 

"We might come by later," Yuki tells him, taking out her phone and handing it over. "Why don't I give you a call beforehand?" 

"Aah, sounds great." Agon punches his number in and hands it back with a wink. "I'll reserve the big table just for you." 

Unsui sees them off with a bow and a smile, and he receives a shy wave from Ami in return. 

"Ten thousand yen from _one table_ ," Ikkyu says once they've left, voice strangled, while Unsui counts out three thousand-yen notes from the total and holds it up. Agon swipes it out of his hand and stuffs it into his pocket as his twin sorts the rest into the cash register. "You guys are oni amazing." 

"They were just really nice," Unsui answers politely, taking the receipt and impaling it onto the stand on the counter. "We took a lot of their time." 

"I know we said that Agon would get a 30 percent commission for every table that spends over five thousand," Yamabushi admits, "but I didn't think you guys would actually be able to pull it off." 

"And it was even Unsui-kun's idea to team up," Sanzo says, "how scary." 

"If there's two of them, it's harder to give them the attention they're paying for alone," the quarterback says, defensively. 

Agon smirks, throws his arm over Unsui's shoulder and jabs him on the cheek with one finger. "What'd I keep telling you idiots? This guy's the most evil out of all of us." 

"Yeah," Goku interjects, "Unsui was the one who pointed out the Louis V watch to me..." 

"I don't see how liking watches qualifies as evil." Unsui sighs, shrugging Agon off and crossing his own arms over his chest. "There wasn't any problem with the service." 

"It's a little evil, Unsui-san, I wouldn't recognize a Coach handbag if it hit me in the face," Ikkyu informs him. "Who was it that said the most evil is the guy who thinks he's doing good?" 

"I think that's from Jojo," Yamabushi volunteers. 

"Yeah, exactly." 

"That has nothing to do with this situation," Unsui interrupts stiffly, "and a group of five just arrived, so stop messing around here and get back to work."

**Author's Note:**

> this was done a couple months ago but i never posted it, woops


End file.
